One of the reasons why my husband and I have disagreements is his drinking problem. Don't get me wrong, I have been there myself. I used to go out clubbing every night, drinking like there's no tomorrow, and trying things I never thought I would in my life. I used to be a chain smoker. I used to think that cigarettes calm me down and are the only ones who stick with me and stay by my side when everybody else leaves me. All these I did before I fully surrendered to my Savior.
I almost gave up on my husband because I could not bear the thought that something else, aside from us - his family, makes him feel good - calm and happy. At first, I tried doing things my way. I used to be a nag. (And to be honest, I'm still working on it, making sure I just shut my mouth whenever I feel like "attacking" my family especially my husband.) I tried persuading my husband, through my constant bickering, to stop his uncontrolled drinking and taking in of things he knows have a very bad long term effect on his health. In his case, after a number of shots or bottles of alcoholic drinks, a part of his brain malfunctions, therefore, not allowing him to remember a thing during his episode of drunkenness. This is a very scary situation especially for us, because he might snap out of his good self one day, God forbid, and do terrible things to his family.
With this case, frustration is inevitable. Questions and doubts start to cloud my mind. How will I make him realize that these things are unhealthy, not to mention dangerous, to the family? That relationships are put at risk? I alone could not do it. Believe me, I have tried my everything. However, frustration does not necessarily imply a negative reaction. It's all about attitude. It's about how we choose to react when we get frustrated. Only then did I realize that only God can touch my husband's heart. The Bible is here to guide, instruct, assure, and comfort us during our temporal stay on this earth. It is the Lord's manual and how-to book for us on how to live our lives not to mention to live it to the full, as He promised.
According to 1 Peter 3:1-2 (New International Version or NIV), "Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives". In the English Standard Version, the conduct of the wife that is indicated on verse two is interpreted as "respectful and pure".
We all want change for the betterment of our family. But how do we know we're in the right track and that we're doing what we're supposed to do as regards the roles assigned to us? Let's go back to the basic - the Bible. It may sound unusual to some but reading the Bible, understanding God's word, doing the Lord's instructions, and knowing His great promises actually lessen our feeling of frustration and aloneness, knowing and believing that God has something much, much better in store for us and our family. All these is a part of God's divine set-up so that we may enjoy His promise of abundant life.
Let us always remember Philippians 4:6-7, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God, and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus".
Let's keep the faith.
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